Dear Mum…

image1Dear Mum,

How you doing? Is that an odd thing to ask? I can’t believe that on Friday, it was 17 years since we lost you. That’s almost a person who can drink!!!

I still miss you, and I’ve struggled with guilt over not thinking about you as much in the past few months after dad, sorry about that. It does give me some comfort to know you are back together again, please don’t give him too much of a hard time for some of the things that went down (mostly the underage drinking, parties in the house and the ‘goth’ phase!!).

What did make me smile was the fact that I spent the morning of Friday in Disneyland, the place that was so full of happy memories for our family, so in your honour I went on ‘It’s a Small World’ and as soon as the song played I remembered you singing it to me when I was poorly and the music box you bought me.

I also couldn’t help but smile on ‘Phantom Manor’ remembering the ‘Bugger Me’ incident with Granny Jean and dad telling you off for laughing the entire way round – even telling the story made me laugh out loud.

I still find it hard without you, the wedding in September without you was strange, but Cat walking me down the isle was a special moment for our relationship which makes me happy and hopefully makes you happy too. I find it hard to remember your mannerisms and your voice, but Sara tells me we are very alike. Our love of makeup, skincare, baking, dungarees and our love and devotion to animals, all of which gives me great comfort and makes me confident to be myself.

I miss and love you, every day.

Little Lemon xxx

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