Firstly, a huge happy Mother’s Day to all the mums out there; whether its mums to be, step mums, new mums, grandmothers – the lot. I find today hard, I lost my mum when I just turned 13 which was utterly life changing. There are many days when you lose someone which are hard – like their birthday and the day they pass away, but those are private. Today is a day where every promotional email, TV advert and social media post remind you of what you’ve lost and I would be lying if I didn’t admit I often want to hide away for the day, even though it’s been 17 years.
But today I want to celebrate all women, and think back at what my mum did teach me in the short time she brought me up, so as a dedication to her I thought I would share the three pieces of advice she gave me which have stick with me ever since
Whenever I didn’t get a part in the school play, or when I failed the exam to get into a private school she used to say ‘what’s for you won’t go by you’. This has been a saying which I’ve taken great comfort in tough times as I got older whether its been break-ups, bad dates or failed job interviews. I always take some time to be down in the dumps and pick myself up by remembering those words and thinking if it was meant to be it will be.
Another piece of advice I now hear myself saying to others is ‘a little of what you fancy does you good’ – which I think is brilliant. In a world today all about clean eating and ‘guilt’ food (a post on that coming soon!) and people being judged for whatever makes them happy – my mum always said you should treat yourself and have balance for a happy life. One of my favourite memories is sitting in Paris and my dad recording me and my mum eating cream cakes the size of our heads and she turned to me and just said ‘a little of what you fancy does you good’ and I replied ‘but this isn’t little it’s huge’. That memory itself makes me smile and I hear my mum’s voice every time I’m contemplating a treat or that extra glass of red, and am I happier for it – heck yes!
Last but maybe the most poignant of all…’you are wonderful just the way you are’. I was a painfully shy kid (hard to believe I know) and I got horribly bullied when I was in primary school – I used to ask my mum if I could change my appearance or if I needed to be funnier and she would simply kiss me on the head and say ‘you are wonderful as you are’. She used to say it to me as she stroked my face when I went to sleep each night and I hope to do the same with my kid one day. Although it took many, many years to believe her. I am the person I am today, totally and utterly myself thanks to the confidence that she instilled in me.
So, mum, wherever you are and whatever you are doing (I suspect having a steak dinner and a glass of red with dad) thank you for making me who I am today, through the lessons you taught me. I never feel more proud than when I am told I am like you in some ways – to me that’s an honour.
All my love x